Yes, I know that’s a rubbish pun. But it fits the theme, which is waiting for something which apparently (and spoiler alert, if it’s really possible to spoil a play which premiered in 1953) will never come.
I know there are people who want to buy a print version of The Ten Word Film Review Book. I also know it will be easier to sell physical copies than electronic ones, but the outlay to get them printed myself is too much to risk in the current climate. (It’s unprecedented, in case you hadn’t heard.) The solution to this, it seemed, was to go for the Kindle Paperback option; I simply needed to provide them with print-ready files (something I am very much equipped to do in my capacity as a professional graphic designer) and when an order was placed, they would print one off and send it to people in paperback form.
So I submitted the files. It’s In Review, they told me. It should go live within 72 hours. If there is any issue with your files, we will email and tell you. If you have any difficulties, you can email us and we will answer within 24 hours. Alternatively, you can actually give us your number and we will call you back, either instantly or in 5 minutes. Sounds good, right?
The next day after going to In Review, the listing returned to Draft. I did not receive an email to tell me why (and yes, I checked my spam repeatedly). I emailed to ask them why it had happened, and got a notification on the website saying that my email had been delivered, but never received a response. I gave them my number to call me back, and it never even connected. I have spoken to Kindle and Amazon people in both the UK and the US, and all roads lead to these two methods being the only way to contact Kindle. Methods which appear to end in a vacuum. In desperation, I have asked on the Kindle Community Forums, where several people have been very generous with their suggestions and advice, but none of it has worked and nobody from Kindle actually looks at the forums, as far as anyone knows.
Several people suggested to just leave the files as Draft after they had gone to In Review, saying they might magically return to In Review or even to Live that way. The last upload I made, I left for six days as Draft before conceding defeat and trying again. My latest attempt is to see whether the fact that the summary in the upload said “Over 1,200 succinct summaries from blockbuster to arthouse” whereas the cover said “Over 1,200 succinct summaries from blockbuster to arthouse.” (with a full stop) was causing the logjam. It sounds ridiculous, but you never know. Assuming this also fails, I am completely stumped. I am stuck in limbo with files which will not load, but nobody at Kindle will tell me why and there is no means of contacting them to ask.
So bear with me, potential print-copy-purchasers. I’ll find a way in the end.
The Ten Word Film Review Book 